I doubt I’ll find all the words, but it bears sharing.  Through growing up, making many friends, later dating, one day marrying, time continued to show aspects of the human condition, honesty being one always on display:  that and dishonesty.

            This thing called dishonesty pervades throughout the world, even from our youth.  I noticed this early on.  One sees it when “hanging out” with a friend, then see them change right before your eyes when another person enters the picture.  Or a “close” coworker changes when a “different” boss runs the company.  One sees it when behaviors change depending upon those around.  More recently, watching a friend, who has a long-standing girlfriend, changed when working with a beautiful lady.  His behavior altered even with his friends.  It seems, a kind of “pride” entered, so his talking changed.  But then, I noticed my own noticing. 

            Perhaps, this is a difficulty with all, or most, relationships between men and women, more so when they’re dating or newly married.  I asked a friend once, if all men and women would just be themselves, be honest through and through, wouldn’t that save much of the later arguments and problems when they get married.  She said, if people did that, they would never get married.  I later asked a relative the same question with the same answer following.  That made me think.

            It seems, all, or most, of life is a stage.  We’re all actors, putting on one face in front of some people, but a different face with those we wish to be friends or those we wish to be intimate.  It seems like, in our DNA so to speak, we alter depending upon the circumstances.  The question is the answer.  We “hide” something from people, depending upon who they are.  The question is “why?”  Perhaps, we have grown up noticing a certain way of life and adapted accordingly.  But perhaps, it’s also “in us” to not remain firm in principle.  Or is it a choice we make?  And to what end?  To what purpose?

            Sometimes, I think of an older relative, a few years gone now, and his wife of over 60 years.  It always does my heart good when I remember them.  They were as best friends.  They probably knew more about each other than anyone else.  They could speak frankly.  They’ve been through everything life has to offer:  the ups and downs.  And through it all, I saw honesty.  I suppose, as in many of relationships, time tells all.

            Another friend, who has now been married for about twenty years, also is a breath of fresh air.  Sometimes people think they’re arguing.  Yes, they are.  But that’s how they are together.  They both speak their minds.  They’re like best friends who got married.  He will do anything for her, but he’ll put his foot down if he disagrees.  She as well.  But both are in the marriage forever.  As such, both will admit being wrong when they are.  Not perfect.  But best friends in marriage.  And when things have been more difficult, they prayed together. 

            All the problems in the world comes from each person’s dishonesty.  It’s in relationships.  It’s in families.  It’s in the neighborhood.  It causes us to make the decisions we make.  And when we wonder why things keep going wrong, the real question is what are you hoping for, why are you hoping for that, and are you honest in your intentions and speak?  Another way to look at this is if every thought and intention you had was displayed as a bubble above your head, as in cartoon strips, would you dare leave the house?  If, wherever you went, whoever was around, if your thoughts and intentions, feelings and angers, were displayed in that bubble so everyone could see it, would you dare go outside?  That’s the measure.  And that tells the tale. 

            Thankfully, we don’t have that bubble above our heads, but we can realize our own dishonesty, not hide from it, and then do our best not to make money or anything else more important than principle.  One day at a time.  As best we can.  Perhaps in prayer.

Well, we’re close to completing another season.  With college, we see Alabama and Clemson vying strongly for another round, with Notre Dame knocking on the door.  We think Texas A&M is a long-shot, but possible, as Florida lost this week and Ohio State simply hasn’t played many games.  Going into the four team playoffs, the teams with the most experience are the ones prepared for making it to the finals.  But, as I said to a friend, we’d love to see A&M win.  But given that Clemson lost to Notre Dame earlier, though without their star quarterback, but also struggled with their last team which surprised all of their fans, we see Alabama getting stronger with each succeeding game, destroying all brave opponents. 

            Will Nick Saban win another championship, giving him a 7^th all-time, making him the best college head coach?  It’s looking better and better.  As we see it, Notre Dame could give Alabama and Clemson great difficulties, but we still see the latter two use to getting to the big game with all the pieces ready. 

            In the NFL, we still see Kansas City as the front runner, but seemed to have struggled recently, their star quarterback throwing 3 picks this last game, having difficulties in the previous as well.  But, as I said before, better to have your struggles a few games before the playoffs so you can fix the problems, then peak in post season.  New Orleans is looking very good, save this last game, but they’ll need their star quarterback, Drew Brees, to be ready.  The Covid thing could make post season unpredictable, as with injuries.  New Orleans has a top defense.  But then there’s Pittsburgh that has only lost one game thus far.  But their offense isn’t near the top.  Yes, defense wins championships, but in recent years, we’ve seen the offense has a lot to say about that.  Once in the Super Bowl, everything goes out the door.  It’s what you do from the first kick-off to when the last whistle is blown.  The New England Patriots proved that by coming back several touchdowns to beat Atlanta.  Like a doctor once said, numbers aren’t everything.  Like when the New York Giants, coming from a paltry 9-7 season, won the Super Bowl.  9-7 teams simply don’t win Super Bowls.  But the Giants didn’t believe that.  Just like Tom Brady and Bill Belichik didn’t believe Super Bowl comebacks from several touchdowns down was impossible.  They figured one score at a time. 

            But, as with all fans, we predict winners.  We’ve got it down to Kansas City, Pittsburgh, or New Orleans, with the first having the greatest chances.  The first quarterback dances around defenders, enjoying the process, always seeing the goal.  The other two quarterbacks are nearing the end of their careers, and except for Peyton Manning and the guy with Denver, quarterbacks nearing retirement don’t win Super Bowls.  But they could.  Dollars to doughnuts, we see KC and a second win.

I remember, several years back, even before the Oregon Ducks (You know.  Chip Kelly.  They had feathers on the jerseys.) were vying for the national championships, very much liking the team.  While I liked the uniforms, it was something about the team whenever they stepped onto the field.  They just had the “can-do” attitude.  The players were always excited to play, to compete, and work hard each and every game.  And sometimes, they’d beat a top 20 team, even a top 5 team, and twice, they made the championships, though falling short on the score board.  But each and every year, no matter whether they lost or won, they always head onto the field with the goal of winning.  They’re always excited to play, no matter where they stand on the leaderboard.  *We also see that in some non-power five teams:  one’s that have no chance of winning the national championship, but working hard within their divisions. 

            I remember listening to a report about Iowa, and I think Iowa State was part of the conversation.  Iowa has won the national championships, but many decades ago:  nothing recent.  And Iowa State has never won, nor been there.  But there’s something about Iowa.  They always try.  There’s no “give-up” in the team’s vocabulary.  One sports commentator explained that they never quit.  They can be down 50 – 10, and in the final ten minutes, the defense is doing everything they can to stop the opponent from scoring and their offense is trying everything they can to score.  So, every year, we watch Iowa, Iowa State, Oregon (The Ducks), and several other teams that always have that can-do determined attitude.  They just love to play football.  It’s in their traditions.  It’s in those universities.

            The Iowa head coach has been doing this job for many years, but he’s never won the big one (Has had very impressive years and won several bowl games, even big bowl games.).  Perhaps, he never will, but one never knows.  I don’t know him personally.  But when we see him on television, what I really like is he’s never disturbed.  This year, Iowa lost their first two games:  one against a team they should have easily beaten (on paper), the other much improved (Lost by one point.).  Never saw that man look upset.  Never saw him unhappy.  In each game, he just went onto the next play, continuing to coach his players.   And after each game, he just went onto the next game.  And now, they’re at 4 wins and 2 losses, and if they keep playing as they have, they could very well go 8-2 by the end of the season with a good bowl game.  They just never quit.  Losing doesn’t make the players feel like losers.  They know they aren’t losers.  They never look at the past except to improve.  They believe they can win any game.  That’s the attitude we love.

            In the last game, there was this one play (that stood out) where a Nebraska receiver made an amazing catch, one toe inbounds as he fell back.  But looking at the instant replay, we’re sure the toe was above ground at the moment of the catch, touching down out of bounds.  But the referee said it was a catch.  The next frame went to Iowa’s head coach who looked none the less for wear.  He was calm.  And even in the final minutes of the game, when Iowa was winning by only 6 points, and Nebraska was going down to score a touchdown, which would put them ahead and probably win the game, he just kept coaching, the team kept working hard, and they stopped Nebraska, going on to win another game.  From the opening kickoff to the last second, Iowa persevered.   And throughout the game, I never saw Iowa players getting upset, jawing with the opponents, and they even helped up opposing players even after scores.  It was just grace we saw in a team.

            Alabama has won plenty of championships, and we see a top 5 that seems almost unstoppable in most games.  But any fan has to also realize money has a lot to do with that.  The top 5 teams have the best coaches (and except for one, the highest paid coaches making millions), amazing staff, and because they attract the best athletes, they’re going to win most, if not all of their games.  And as long as they win big, they keep attracting the best athletes.  One has to realize, no matter how good a coach is, no matter how determined the players are, if they play a team with superior athletes, sometimes far superior athletes, the job is much tougher.  But Iowa doesn’t care.  I think they actually want to play Alabama, Clemson, and Ohio State no matter what the odds.  And they’ll play hard to the final whistle.   

            We’ve also seen other teams like Iowa, Iowa State, Oregon, and some others, who don’t have all the top athletes beat top 5 teams, or come close, or at least keep the game competitive.  And that’s where I wonder what’s more important:  having all the money and support, or building teams that work hard, work together, improve from year to year, and believe they can win any game on any given day.  And when they don’t, learn, work hard, and enter the next game, giving all they got.  When the fall, they get right back up, more determined to win the next game.  For as I see it, in Iowa, that coach is building character.  He’s building winning teams.  He’s instilling an attitude of positivity:  a “never say quit” outlook.  And when those players leave college, that attitude will carry with them the rest of their lives.  In whatever job, career, or venture they undertake, they will have a positive influence on everyone around them.  And once in a while, a team that’s not supposed to win, one who the odds makers has them far down the list, wins big.

            **One more thing.  That the Alabama’s and Clemson’s of college football win big is important.  When you have all elements to win, you go for it.  That’s also a lesson for life.